Monday, April 3, 2017

BOOK REVIEW - TO THE NINES by JANET EVANOVICH - STEPHANIE PLUM # 9 - HEADLINE - CONTEMPORARY CRIME

By: Janet Evanovich
Published By: Headline
Released: Available Now
Details: Paperback from OP shop find, 279 Pages

RATING: 4.25 SHENANIGAN STARS  ( Ranger gets 5 stars )

Blurb: Goodreads 

Stephanie Plum's got rent to pay, people shooting at her, and psychos wanting her dead every day of the week (much to the dismay of her mother, her family, the men in her life, the guy who slices meat at the deli...oh, the list goes on). An ordinary person would cave under the pressure.
But hey, she's from Jersey.


Stephanie Plum may not be the best bounty hunter in beautiful downtown Trenton, but she's pretty darn good at turning bad situations her way...and she always gets her man. In To the Nines, her cousin Vinnie (who's also her boss) has posted bail on Samuel Singh, an illegal immigrant. When the elusive Mr. Singh goes missing, Stephanie is on the case. But what she uncovers is far more sinister than anyone imagines and leads to a group of killers who give new meaning to the word hunter.

In a race against time that takes her from the Jersey Turnpike to the Vegas Strip, Stephanie Plum is on the chase of her life.



BOOK REVIEW:

Another Steph P book under my belt.

I am gonna start by saying, the cover of my Headline published copy has Steph’s latest car in flames.

Which = blowing up.

Did that happen?

No!

I feel ripped off.

Bahahah

No, I do. Seriously. False advertising. Every dayum book for the last 8 books, her car has blown up and this cover actually makes me think I am getting a car blown up.

I get nothing!

*hands on hips*

I mean I was getting a little over the cars blowing up, but now I don’t have a car-blowing-up scene…well, I want one!

Anyhoo, moving on.

Lula is still Lula and one fave sidekick of mine.

Steph still meets somebody she went to school with.

Ranger is still…*sigh stuffs lady boner inside my pants* gorgeous and brings that sexy-Ranger-dialogue.

Joe is still making me scratch my head as to what-the-hell-is-he-doing-with-their-relationship. Add a big fat question mark.

The plot was a little see through, but damn if I am not addicted to a hit of Steph and the gang like a full-on addiction.

Okay, I gotta hit you up with a Ranger quote or three. #teamranger



“Is that a mocking grin?”

“It’s the grin of a man who loves you, babe.”

My heart skipped around a little and I got warm in places only Morelli should be warming. “Love?”

“There’s all kinds of love,” Ranger said. “This kind doesn’t come with a ring attached.”

“Nice, but you avoided answering my question about the mocking grin.”

He gave my ponytail a playful tug.




Dammit Janet, stop doing this shiz for me to read. We all know you want Joe for Steph, but you keep writing this stuff for Ranger.

Hence. #teamranger.

Joe’s gotta get some more spice in his life and be sexier than Ranger.

Hence #teamranger



“I could help you with these maternal urges,” Ranger said.

“Get me pregnant?”

“I was going to suggest a visit to the animal shelter.” He grabbed me by the front of my shirt and pulled me close. “But I could get you pregnant if that’s what you really want.”




DUDE! Stop playing with me! 😊

Hence #teamranger


Ranger reached behind him, under his shirt, and pulled out a .38. He pulled my T-shirt out of my jeans and he shoved the .38 under my waistband and draped my shirt over the gun. The gun was warm with his body heat and his fingers had been even warmer sliding across my belly.

“Thanks,” I said, trying to keep my voice from cracking.

He curled his hand around my neck and kissed me lightly on the lips. “Be careful.” And he was gone. Off to make the world a better place in his shiny new black Porsche.


(@&(*@&#(@*&(@*

Hence #teamranger


“I thought he was supposed to be guarding my body,” I said to Ranger.

Ranger looked at me with dark eyes. “It’s my turn to guard your body, babe.”

Oh boy.



#teamranger!!!!

I seriously need a Ranger book/series. Like DUDE!!! You can’t keep playing with me like this.

Then Janet keeps letting Tank pop up.


“It might be easier if we took one car for the busts,” Tank said.

I agreed. “Do you want to drive or ride shotgun?”

Tank’s eyebrows raised a fraction of an inch. Shocked that I would even consider driving. Tank only rode shotgun to Ranger.

“It’s the twenty-first century,” I told Tank. “Women drive.”

“Only in my bed,” Tank said. “Never in my car.”



*smacks head on desk*

Ya need to stop doing this to me Janet. Joe needs to lift his Alpha game.

I digress.

There is the usual FTAs that by now Steph should have learned how to professionally apprehend, but she still hasn’t.

There is the villain of the story…little easy to work out, but none the less there is a villain.

Mum is being mum.

Grandma Mazur is being…well a granny with gumption.

Joe is still being Joe…he needs to be shaken not stirred.

Ranger…Ranger…#teamranger.

Nuff said.

No car got blown up…which was really disappointing Miss Janet, but it was alluded to by I think, Grandma Bella. (don’t quote me)

Sometimes she doesn’t tell the whole vision.

How convenient.


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